GR

 

ENGLISH IS A QUEER LANGUAGE

Unknown author

 

 

We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes ,
But the plural of ox is oxen , not "oxes"
Then one fowl is a goose and two are geese ,
Yet the plural of moose would never be "meese,"

You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice ,
But the plural of house is houses , not "hice."
If the plural of man is always men ,
Why shouldn‘t the plural of pan be "pen"?

Cow in the plural may be cows or kine .
But the plural of vow is vows , not "vine."
I speak of a foot and you show me your feet .
I give you a boot ; would you call a pair "beet"?

If the singular is tooth and the plural teeth ,
Why shouldn‘t the plural of booth be "beeth"?
If the singular is this, and the plural is these ,
Should the plural of kiss rightly be "keese"?

Then, with ONE you use that and with THREE, those ,
Yet the plural of hat is never called "hose."
We speak of a brother and also of brethren ;
But though we say mother , we never say "methren."

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him ,
But imagine the feminine as she , "shis," and "shim."
So English, I think -- and you must agree —
Is a language as queer as any you‘ll see.


 

 

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